Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues

I was already a Carole Robin fan, but I was skeptical that all she has to teach could somehow be condensed into a book. I was completely wrong -- this is a powerful book. It manages to summarize a host of important concepts around how to access and communicate feelings, how to build and strengthen relationships, and how to use those skills to be more influential and effective. The book bring these concepts alive with stories and scenarios, and shows how they can be applied to both professional and personal life. I've used the concepts in these books and they've had a hugely positive impact on my life. Through some of my toughest times, they've helped me understand and process my feelings, and become vulnerable with family and friends in a way that felt safe and brought me closer to them. They've also helped me build stronger working relationships, demonstrating the power of vulnerability even in a professional setting. And that's coming from someone who just a few years ago would've thought it was crazy to talk about my feelings at work. It's rare that a book has the potential to be transformative and life-changing, and I'd put this book in that category.

Full disclosure, I have been an adherent of lessons gained from Stanford Business School's Interpersonal Dynamics class — widely-known as "Touchy-feely" — since I was privileged enough to take it as a student in the 1990s. And, I have been a big Carole and David fan for almost as many years as a colleague, friend, and co-conspirator in spreading the word on building exceptional relationships. The challenge of capturing for the benefit of a wider audience the experiential learning essence gained from the course or related forums (e.g., Leaders in Tech's Intensive Programs & Retreats, where Carole is a Co-founder) seemed not just daunting, but near impossible. But after reading CONNECT, it's abundantly clear that Carole and David have found ways to make accessible to all the core tenets of their life's work. Though clear presentation of frameworks and guidelines; powerful anecdotes; exemplary, thought-provoking storytelling; and essential exercises that help a reader put into practice what the authors espouse, the magic that has generated relational epiphanies for so many Touchy-feely participants over the years is there for the realizing. Feedback is a gift? Yes, indeed! And so are David Bradford and Carole Robin for sharing their wisdom and insights with all of us in CONNECT. As you already no doubt surmise, I strongly recommend this book for anyone in search of greater interpersonal effectiveness.

Bradford and Robin's Connect provides readers with a framework to enhance relationships with just about anyone. The book starts with the basics, defining what exactly deepens relationships (making yourself known) and detailing how to start doing so (15% rule). The meat of the book focuses on making the most out of very ordinary relationship matters: engaging others, dealing with emotion, providing feedback, breaking stalemates, and resolving conflict, and channeling these efforts towards richer relationships rather than damaged ones. To make things easier to understand, the authors employ fictional characters with their own unique relational conflicts and walk the reader through the stages of resolution. Acknowledging that situations are not always perfect, however, the book also provides scenarios where the other party is unwilling to engage in a positive interaction and offers ways to deal with such cases. Each chapter ends with an actionable section providing things to try with a select few relationships you want enhanced, which the book asks you to identify from the start. I wasn't able to make the most out of this, unfortunately. Despite not having the chance to immediately apply learnings at the end of each chapter, my takeaways from Connect have allowed me to reframe my interactions with others (stay on my side of the net) and reap the benefits of more productive interactions. Not everyone will be as receptive as the fictional characters in the book, of course, but most interactions will have room for application. Connect affords readers a piece of the learnings from GSB's Interpersonal Dynamics course, from which it is based, and offers a change in mindset well worth the time and effort for a read or two (making use of actionable sections the second time around).

I'm the CEO of a fast growing venture backed company ($100M raised) and I was struggling with burnout, feeling lonely and wanting to achieve another level of effectiveness as a leader. Carole's work was transformative for me. I discovered that being the invincible "super" CEO who had all the answers was holding me back. I learned the immense power of vulnerability and human connection. Thanks to her work, my effectiveness as a CEO has dramatically increased. From the executives I can now recruiting and retain to the way I can now lead the entire company through challenging times, my approach to leadership has been transformed. And on a personal level, I don't experience the burnout and loneliness that I did before. Obviously still a challenging job that has its days, but on the whole I'm much more happy and fulfilled than I was before. I highly recommend this book to any individual who wants to do real work in there life to become a more effective and less lonely human. But know that its hard work and it doesn't come overnight.

This book takes some of the most helpful concepts in leadership development, mental health training, and communication skills and reduces them into simple concepts with relatable stories that are approachable and easy to understand. Some of these concepts, when applied to every day life, has transformed my relationships with colleagues and friends and improved my ability to lead. The concept of “going over the net” is one that so many people mess up on, leading to heated circular arguments that spiral out of control. After I learned about the importance of voluntary disclosure, I started experimenting it in my own life and found deeper connection with friends and family. Carole’s disclosure of her own relationship challenges reminded me that we’re all just works in progress. This book helps you start the journey on that work, arguably the most important work you’ll ever do in your life.

This book is amazing. I like to think of myself as an empathetic person who is good at developing relationships but upon reading Connect I realized I'm missing an entire world of connections given that I–up until now–have avoided conflict as much as possible. Consequently, I lose out on taking my relationships to another level, repairing ones I thought broken beyond fixing, and simply developing relationships with people who *seem* incompatible with my personality. Others have said that this book saved their marriages or helped them get promotions and I am excited to see what I can do with the tools I have now. Also, I just really loved the examples they wrote about! It was very helpful to read about how others in a variety of types of relationships take their relationships to the next level.

Must-have book to improve your personal and professional relationships. This book was recommended to me by my manager who raves about Carole Robin’s Stanford GSB class (and so does everyone I know who took her class). I just received it, opened it to skim through it and just finished the first two chapter, it is that good! I just love how relatable the stories/ scenarios are. But my favorite part is the self-reflection section at the end of each chapter: It really helps to digest the stories and apply them to my very own relationships – both personal and professional. This book has a special place on my desk already and I’m going to re-read it and recommend it to family, friends and co-workers.

The book was informative but a little academic for me. I was hoping for more things to DO. Good overall about how connection get made.

Purchasing experience is good as expected. Book itself is not great: very transparent high level idea that could be explained as an essay l not a book length

This advice in this book can transform any relationship but it will require some work. As you read it you will recognise in yourself things you can do to improve your relationships. I find the book to be relatable and realistic. I definitely recommend it.

Connect is an operator’s manual for human social experience. Everyone can learn to be more effective, fulfilled and helpful to others through this magnificent contribution. Improvement in this domain translates into more accomplishment everywhere. This book is clear, straightforward and impactful. Thank you for bringing it from your landmark course to the benefit of everyone.

Relationships are hard, demanding and complex. That is why they are so beautiful and worth investing time on it. This book provides a complete toolkit on how to approach each different kind of relationship to achieve harmony and meaningfulness. Fortunate are those who were able to have Stanford in-person classes with these couple.

Absolute gem of a book.