How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

I absolutely love this book and continue to reflect back on its key takeaways to help me embed the principles. I didn’t realise how much I was dismissing my 3 year old son’s emotions until reading this; the framing of an adult conversation really helped clarify and see how I needed to change my responses. It seems so obvious, yet I was stuck in my ways of a playful reply of ‘ah you don’t hate it, you had it yesterday’ not realising the harm it was doing. Within the first day of reading, I tried out some of the tools to try and get him to sit down to eat…and it worked, no more questions, no more running off to play, just willingness and acceptance. Surely this was a fluke. I continued over the following days to keep thinking back to the principles and try to implement them. It was a struggle in the moment as my brain wouldn’t always pick the right approach and remember what I had read (Mel Robbins ‘Let them theory’ came in handy a few times) but I would eventually figure out and remember the right type and they really helped. My biggest takeaway and reason I continue to reflect back on this though is that within the first week, there was a situation where my 3 year old was about to build up and get upset but using the steps and tools of the first section I recognised this and simply accepted his emotions instead of my usual palming off reply…and I’ll never forget the pause and look on his face as he finally felt that acceptance and clearly felt heard. I felt so mean that he clearly hadn’t felt this way before, yet so happy I now had this awareness moving forward. Physically seeing how much weight I took away in that moment has made me realise how something so small in my world makes such a big difference in his world; something highlighted throughout the book. This along with insight on how a simple rephrase of praise can have such a positive/negative impact on their future actions, I would 100% recommend this book to not only parents/guardians but any adult interacting with children. Our actions really do make a big difference.

The best parenting book I have read so far. I’ve used so many of the tools and advice from this book with my 2 year old and they’ve had such a positive impact on my parenting and my child’s emotional stability. We’ve had little to no terrible two meltdowns and this book has definitely helped us both to de escalate ant issues that may be bubbling. I’ve bought it for 2 friends since!

It’s a great book for parents of young children. I only wish it had MORE examples with situations. As I personally really struggle to find words in situations when little one throws a tantrum. It has lots of examples and sometimes they WORK! But as it’s said in a book toddlers are human beings and you can’t always win a battle🥲

but completely recommend it already. I bought the kindle edition on a whim because our toddlers just turned 2 and the book was just £2.50. Let me tell you, I'm just about 50 pages in, and have already used two tips from the book. First we ran out of bananas. I was looking at a complete meltdown and in reaction I used one of the first things mentioned in the book: Write a shopping list. My husband thought I was crazy, but within seconds meltdown was averted, and my daughter was just happily pointing at the word Banana and my bad drawing on our list. Next day, another meltdown because breakfast wasn't ready fast enough. So I went all over the top, just like the book recommended. "Noooooo breakfast isn't done yet! And we really need that bread! Oh noooo look at this I'm almost done!" Meltdown stopped, my daughter just looked at me as if I'd grown a second head, then again happily waited until food was ready. I have also noticed I stopped asking my daughters so many questions. I just make statements. Instead of "Did you hurt yourself? What's going on?" I just say "Oh that has hurt!" and then listen to them for a second. Even that slight change in my behaviour makes such a big difference in the way our twins are reacting and dealing with things, just like the book says. All in all, it is really easy to read, and gives great tips on how to deal with small people. I am so happy I bought it. Completely recommended.

Gentle, respectful, yet practical and realistic. It has made my life much happier and easier! There are numerous tools in here which REALLY WORK and take a bit of practice, but it's worth it. The tools preserve the relationship between you and your child, yet enable you to protect your own feelings, desires and boundaries. I read the audiobook version and I love it - it had me laughing out loud throughout. I feel like the authors "get" where I am coming from and have solutions to my daily struggles with my 2 and 4 year old. Easy to read (listen) in this format, not having much time, I mainly listened in the car or when cooking etc. Fairly long book but the main points are in the first few chapters. The only area which I felt it hasn't helped massively was sleep (The Holy Grail!!) - there is a chapter devoted to it but there wasn't anything in there I wasn't already doing. Having said that, applying the other tools in the book generally through the day has improved bedtime struggles a bit and most importantly, I am coping with those struggles better.

I got this book a while ago after reading The Whole Brain Child from another author, as I was looking for something for specifically targeted for early years and specific every day situations. I have to say yes it has helped. I had heard the author speaking online prior to that. They take a realistic and pragmatic approach, which is soothing and empowering to us as parents and the book is packed with good ideas for various situations. I have used them and they work, at least some of the time. The general idea to take from this book is that managing challenging behaviour requires a bit of imagination and a sense of humour really, which is not always easy when we’re stressed. But as the book says it goes a much longer way than getting angry, and it’s not as draining, so well worth it for everyone involved.

This book has literally been revolutionary in the way myself and husband parent our 4 year old daughter. We were really struggling with her behaviour and with baby number 2 on the way we knew we needed to do something about it ASAP. The techniques in this book have helped massively. She now expresses how she is feeling through words and not lashing out and tantrums have almost stopped, and any that start to develop are quickly stopped before they escalate. The techniques are backed up with real life experiences from other parents and pointers on how to use them in lots of situations which we found super helpful. The techniques do take practise (not all of them will come natural to you!) but they do work. We found it helped that we were practising the techniques as a couple and both had read the book within a short timescale.

I have an explosive little 2 year old - he tantrums every day, hits, bites and is very sensitive and strong willed. I have seen this book recommended by other parents and on online forums. This book has really useful tools for problem solving with children but sadly a lot of the tools require the child to be verbal and/or literate. Often the solution to most conflicts is to sit down after the event and write down a list of ways to resolve the problems and the agree between you and your child the best course of action. Sounds like a good way to resolve issues but pretty much impossible with a 2 year old. It even suggests drawing pictures about feelings but again, my toddler's drawings are just swiggly lines, he doesnt try to draw objects. The books suggests naming feelings and not dismissing your child's feelings. These have been useful just now but there are no other tools in this book to actually help whilst a toddler is tantruming. The best advice I have read was in a montessori book is just letting them ride it out, keep them safe, dont let them harm others. You will know when they have finished as they tend to let out a sigh and move on. I'm glad that I have read the book now as I feel I have tools I can use as he grows older but for my current predicament of a tantruming toddler , I'm afraid I have not found any quick fixes.

If you have a little person in your life, you also need this little book. Beautifully written - entertaining, relevant, thoughtful and informative. The examples the author uses helps to ground her information. Being able to place yourself in your little one's shoes and seeing it from their point of view is highly insightful. The lessons in this book can be used not only with children ages 2-7 but with all our day to day relationships. I highly recommend 'How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7'.

This book literally change my life as a parent. My understanding is so much clearer and I feel more confident as a mother. I highly recommend and I wish every parent reads it!!

Ok, so I’ve been wanting to write a review for this book since I received it – when it first came out – but I can’t find it in my house. I think that my child took it and is reading it so that he can learn all our tricks. Haha. My child doesn’t actually read yet but I am lucky I did before it went missing because it has done no less than change my relationship with him. How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen is full of great, doable advice that is general enough for any situation, but with specific examples so that you know exactly what the authors are trying to explain. The real-life examples could easily have come from my family. For example, the child who wants something that fell into a crack in his car seat and it is inaccessible to him and to me, the driver. Joanna and Julie give great advice on how to respond to difficult situations with little kids that could easily cause a major meltdown. For example, when the thing falls into the crack in the car seat and I can’t reach it, in the past my child would start yelling and screaming and then move into a full-on tantrum. I always felt that I had two choices: 1: I could pull over and stop, get out of the car, open the door where his car seat is, and retrieve the thing. That would stop the tantrum before it starts, but it would teach him that he is welcome to have his way whenever he threatens me with a tantrum. Or, 2: I could not get the thing, tell him to live with it for the 10 minutes (or whatever) until we get to where we are going. That response would surely invite crying escalating, into a full-on, inconsolable tantrum as the ride went on. I would have to listen to the screaming for the whole ride and then deal with it when we got to where we are going. Julie and Joanna suggest a great third response: agree with my child that the thing is really important. Tell him that I wish I could reach the car seat to retrieve it. Then really get dramatic with it: talk about having a button on the dashboard that I could just push and a hundred of those things would magically appear! And then ask what we could do with a hundred of those things, until my child is so caught up in the fantasy that he has forgotten how much he wants the thing and we get to where we are going safe, sound, and happy. I’ve actually had to do this a number of times since reading the book. My child’s response still amazes me every time! It sounds like magic, but it’s not. It is a way of listening to your child and validating his/her experience. How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen gives lots of ideas, stories and examples of how to do this in any number of difficult situations. I do want to be clear, this isn’t magic, and sometimes even the best skills don’t produce sunny results. But more often than not, as a result of the skills I was able to pick up from this book, I can at least head off tantrums and other bad behavior before it starts, even if my child isn’t all smiles.

This book is life changing! Not only it gives you valuable tools to mitigate daily parenting needs, but your can also apply these techniques to adults too. As an introvert I always struggled to speak with people, but this book has given me some useful tools which are really life changing for me. I thank the authors for writing such a wonderful book. I'm planning to buy the rest of the books in the "How to talk" series.

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen